Cancel culture is an example of how the psychology of crowds normalizes judgment at a large scale. It serves to cull the unproductive individuals from society. It accepts the premise that we should be defined by and judged for our worst mistakes.
There’s an interesting dynamic you have to deal with when you try to carve out your own little space online. You’ll learn that there’s a line you have to cross before you can connect with other people on a social (human) level.
Today I’ve noticed that it’s difficult to bring awareness to anything without accompanying judgment. A simple habit awareness exercise of listing my habits—just the current ones—brought up a lot of questions and concerns about not doing enough... and also, not giving myself enough credit.
How we react, respond, and reflect on our experiences is crucial to how it’s recorded and then understood. The experience and resulting emotional state become part of a tapestry of experiences that we call "our history." That history informs all our future behavior and how we find meaning in our lives.
In our society, we strive for the biggest, most visible gains; we look for and celebrate the “zero to hero.” It seems only natural to think that the most effective way to improve is to look for the biggest weaknesses we can find and “fix” that.
If you truly seek connection and trust, before you jump to judgment and conclude something someone did was meant to harm you, consider your reality, their reality, and look for common ground.
Trust and connection are built through looking for what’s probably real, not through looking for trouble and judgment. People’s behaviors can be interpreted through one of two lenses: 1. looking for what’s probably real (for them) or 2. looking for trouble (which usually doesn’t exist, except when we look for it).
I bought 26 pounds of litter and 12 pounds of dry cat food at our local pet store. The retail associate asked me, “Do you need help carrying these to your car?” My instinctive response was “Nope,” and shortly after, I thought, “Why would I?!” Sure, it was a gut reaction, but I was irritated enough that I took a moment to consider why.
I’ve always thought the concept of wabi-sabi was reserved for aesthetics and beauty. Wabi-sabi is closely linked to transience and imperfection—and, perhaps most importantly—the acceptance of those aspects of existence… and their role in experiencing joy and delight.
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