When you are “respecting someone’s time,” are you really making excuses for yourself?
I have always been adamant about my personal policy of never volunteering time or energy unless the answer is “hell yes, I’ll help you.” I have said as much to the people in my life.
What I’ve found is that a pattern emerges with the people who never take me up on it. They use me as an excuse for never reaching out. “I don’t want to impose on your time,” they say. Here’s the flip side, if I offer and what I’m offering is something you have either specifically asked me for, it feels like I have two options.
- Start to adjust my point of view about how the world works. People ask for things they don’t want. People don’t actually value my services unless I tell them it isn’t free and it’s, in fact, right on the edge of what they can afford. (There are exceptions, but this seems like the general rule of thumb so far.)
- Take it really personally. People don’t value what I have to offer. People are intimidated of me, and I should work on my people skills because something is getting lost in translation.
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Open-Ended Questions