Today I’ve noticed that it’s difficult to bring awareness to anything without accompanying judgment. A simple habit awareness exercise of listing my habits—just the current ones—brought up a lot of questions and concerns about not doing enough… and also, not giving myself enough credit.
It can really be difficult for me to think neutrally. Questions arise almost instantaneously, essentially the moment I set a thought or an idea down on paper.
- Am I going to regret this?
- Is this really true?
No wonder I’ve felt crippled by the act of inscribing MY words. It’s like I’m trying to listen to the softest, quietest voice in a crowd of skeptical, nitpicky people.
I think years of listening to these voices in my head and reciting what they’ve said to me about myself and other people has confused and clouded my thoughts and my delivery of them.
When all I can hear is noise, is it any wonder I think the whole world might just be noise? Is it any wonder that more noise makes me anxious and want to retreat? Is it any wonder that I worry that our oversaturated world has no room for a quiet voice like mine?