Trust and connection are built through looking for what’s probably real, not through looking for trouble and judgment. People’s behaviors can be interpreted through one of two lenses:
- looking for what’s probably real (for them) or
- looking for trouble (which usually doesn’t exist, except when we look for it).
For example, you’re meeting someone who arrives late. This person tells you that they ran into traffic. Perhaps they grew up with perpetually late parents and never learned to time their activities, anticipate circumstances that cause delays, or strive for early arrival. They may not know how to arrive early or on time. Do you conclude they have no respect for your time?
Do you usually seek reality or trouble?
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