How to cope with imperfection and what it means to have enough and be enough…
Being Human 🔗
Lately, feeling like I’m missing a sense of fulfillment and meaning in my work, I’ve turned to the self-help section of my libraries and bookstores. The most popular self-help books share a common message: all of us are human—the extraordinary visionaries, the ordinary, “average” individuals we encounter in everyday life, and everyone in between—and we are all capable of great things. Many of the books on career change or skill development focus on debunking the notion that success and excellence in a field results from a “divine” gift or talent. It results, these books contend, from deliberate and consistent practice.
Success as a Human 🔗
Few consider the comfort that comes from attributing success or excellence in a field to a divine (non-human) element. If anyone can do just about anything with the right amount and type of practice, then shouldn’t we also consider the implications of the converse: What are the implications for someone who is not successful when you eliminate the non-human component of success? I think most of these authors would suggest that the people who haven’t become successful simply haven’t put in the time and effort. Are these people lazy? Do they—do I—deserve to be unsuccessful?
Success While Being Imperfect 🔗
Our extreme focus on the individual—on human agency—has contributed to what Brené Brown calls “a culture of scarcity.” We know—intimately, deeply—what it means to never be enough. And without practice and effort to embrace our imperfect selves, we can easily get overwhelmed by the scarcity. This scarcity thrives in our culture: We sweep shame under the rug and let our citizens deal with it however they see fit, we encourage comparison that further contributes to a widening gap in resources, and our citizens are more and more disengaged from each other and society.
Affirmations 🔗
Many of us are struggling and feel that we’re never going to be enough. I think I might never be knowledgeable enough, strong enough, good enough. Brown suggests a couple affirmations that I am going to try.
In the morning: “No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.”
In the evening: “I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”
I find it interesting that even the mention of vulnerability and imperfection makes me uncomfortable. Brown suggests vulnerability is the remedy. I hope she’s right.
Changelog 🔗
2021-03-14: Added headings.
2021-03-13: Changed title “The Non-Human Element” to “Living with Scarcity.”
2017-07-25: Created.